Getting older is complicated

So a quick update. I hope you are all ok? I am currently nursing a snotty nose and sound like Barry White in his heyday! Attractive I am not! I have been working hard and trying to keep up my running, as I have a race coming up. I say race, by no way do I mean I will be running like Mo Farrah and hoping to win. This race is 12km, so my longest yet and it is over sand dunes, so will be tough on the old legs. I am feeling a little better this week in myself, (not to say there have not been some ups and downs). That is the thing when you feel like I do, the highs can be so high and the lows can be right down there, into the depths of despair.  It can also creep up on you from nowhere.

I have been thinking a lot about getting older this week, mainly as people keep reminding me indirectly that I am approaching a big birthday next year. The big 40! The thing is I don’t feel my age and I don’t even think about my age. This has some great plus points and some rather large negative points. I keep young through my outlook and people are always telling me I don’t look my age (in my current snotty, black eyed bag-state not sure this applies this week) so that is great. I also don’t feel older, so I still do stupid things, make stupid mistakes and sometimes live life without thinking of the consequences, which can be risky, but also fun. Believe me I do this way less than I used to, when I was young and reckless, the stories I could tell.

However what I have noticed is that people do not seem to take me as seriously due to this, clumsy, fun loving, younger attitude. Which when you are in a work situation, for instance, isn’t great. I do not want to be a boring, older, serious person don’t get me wrong, but sometimes being taken more seriously is necessary. Like when trying to sound like you know what you are talking about, pushing across your point of view, or asking important questions.  

Then I keep thinking who dictates how we should be when we grow older? Does someone say “OK now you have a blue rinse, tight perm and a man’s haircut, you are old”. So I decided to Google top signs you are getting old, how do we know we are getting old? This resulted in finding things that were either deadly serious (pardon the pun) or things taking the piss out of getting old. So I am now more confused than ever, especially by some of the suggestions I found like the following.

Clothing Becomes Complicated

Really? What do they mean by this? Like you mistake the arm hole for the leg hole? You can’t work out how to wear clothing anymore? For the record there are certain fashions I just never “got” I mean I look like a guy in dungarees, bodysuits were just a way to wax with press studs and not to mention the camel toe and having to get naked to pee (yes I am referring to you oh jumpsuit)!

Technology Stops Making Sense (Even if You're Tech-Literate)

I am the first to admit I am no good with technology, if it stops working and you can’t just turn it off and back on to get it to work again, is there even a point? I mean who doesn’t know a toddler who can use a tablet, or mobile better than them ?

Every Debate Makes You Roll Your Eyes

I have been like this forever and it doesn’t take a debate to make this involuntary action happen. It takes people, life and generally working in customer service for years and is in no way related to getting old. I can vouch for this.

You look forward to a dull evening.

Yes , I hold my hands up to this one, this is not even a guilty pleasure, it is just a pleasure and I am not scared to say it. I wear my pj’s almost as much as my clothes and I change into them as soon as I get home. If I do this I am settled for the night and I am going nowhere, for no one and for no reason.

Your back goes out more than you do.

Also true and always has done, I am a bit knackered and have been, forever. Just for the record my bin probably goes out more than me!

You sing along with the elevator music.

I have to say, I sing along to everything and always have, I used to dream and wish I could live life in a musical, I mean 2 of my favourite films are Grease and Mary Poppins.

The list just goes on and on, so here is what I have decided. I am not going to conform to any pre-written “norms” and bullshit about growing old. I refuse to grow old gracefully, maybe because I think I am just going to refuse to grow old. I am now still really young anyway, so sod the miserable gits who think you have to act, or look a certain way to get old. I am also not going to have loads of weird and wonderful surgical procedures to stop the process, I mean I have already accepted that my face seems to be sliding off me and I have spare bits of body now. This is to all you age anxious people out there. Life is to be lived, so live it and don’t waste it on the fear of getting old. Getting old is a privilege some people ae not given, so embrace it, we are a long time dead!