having no job lead me to reflect on the idea of perfection

So I am sitting today, bored out of my mind. After doing some cleaning I decided to watch some daytime TV. I have never felt so unemployed and mid-life crisisy as I do right now. I am really unsure who the BBC (I have no other British channels, tragic I know) aim their programmes at. I am guessing nebby people who want to look inside other people’s houses and those who like to know just how high the crime rate is, if you don’t you will be scared to leave your home anyway! If all of that wasn’t depressing enough there are also the uplifting shows about those who want to be in a council house, with a sad story to tell all while the council are getting robbed of the rent and the housing crisis means the waiting list is so long, people can’t get a home. So yes all good motivation to keep applying for jobs.

Anyway I ended up flicking channels, over and over and yes it is irritating, even when you are alone. I stumbled across the Kardashians,  (never seen this before, I think I will survive) while I was on Facebook and generally multi-tasking, in other words paying no attention to anything. I have to say where the hell did this filtered, perfect, airbrushed society come from. I mean I guess I am in some ways jealous of their ridiculously extravagant lifestyle, especially when I have no clue how they got here (please someone fill me in).  I am definitely not jealous when it comes to the fake ass shit around them, from the air kisses and the amount of work that would appear to go into one outing from the house. I mean I like being a slob some days, just throwing on a jumper and jeans and going (with some make-up, I don’t want to be arrested for scaring the locals). Then I was thinking about the Facebook posts people put on. All pouty, duck faces and 10 different filters, I have still never worked out how you do this, so my photos suck, well they are just normal. I mean some people must pick up someone in a bar (old fashioned I know), or on a dating site and never actually get to meet them because they don’t look like their photo.  Or go home, have a steamy night of passion and then wake up to a stranger. If you are like me you will be way too long in the tooth for all of this. I do understand wanting to look your best sometimes, like on a night out. I understand that me in the morning is not the profile photo that will be the best to throw out there, but for all of my faults I would like people to see me as me.

I don’t know how kids today cope, I remember the hideous blue, glittery eye shadow I used to wear and think I looked amazing. In fact anything with glitter was pretty in then.  I remember  wearing Spice Girl  style wedges that I once tried to run in and almost snapped my ankle, but I felt so cool. I once cut in my own fringe with the help of my mam, which to be fair was due to me walking into a lamppost and sporting an egg on my forehead, but I tried to rock that look too (and believe me that was serious work). My eyebrows are so out of style, thanks to years of over plucking, but so what I’m not perfect, I am human.  I also do not want to look like 2 caterpillars have mated and are still spooning over each eye, to make me look like a twat, I mean I have seen some eyebrows and then I have seen some eyebrows!!!

I kind of feel like kids are missing out on so many things and I feel this expectation of perfection is just another way they are missing out. Teenage girls are like carbon copies of each other these days, they all have the same look. When and how did they get so good at make-up. I mean who even invented contouring? Don’t get me wrong when me and my mates went out all those years ago, we all wanted to look perfect and we thought we did, in retrospect, not really. There was no one waving a phone about taking photos of us though, thank the lord. There were no set in stone norms that had to be followed, sometimes what was in fashion, yeah, (shell suits, whoever thought of those highly flammable pieces of crap, should be shot with shit) but we didn’t feel the pressure kids must today.

I look at people now in the public eye and wonder if they are good role models. I have a secret for all you younger people who may be reading this. But here is the thing, all these people what you look up to and aspire to be, the ones in shoots in your magazines, they are airbrushed, styled, possibly surgically enhanced and probably not even that happy. So stop trying to be something that is unachievable, try to be something unique, try to be you, be happy as you are. Yes by all means, follow some trends and do crazy shit, like perming your hair and dying it pink (Disclaimer; it will feel like a good idea at the time, I cannot guarantee this will feel the same later). Wear that crap glittery eyeshadow you like and realise once you’re out that nope, you definitely haven’t mastered the winged eyeliner effect, (you will be crying it off in the toilets later anyway over some guy, so not sure it is even worth perfecting). Most of all when you are doing all of this, do it because you want to, do it because you can and not because you feel like you have to, but do it with fun in your mind. Please can we all just love ourselves and each other a little bit more, let’s celebrate our imperfections. Ok I am off to lie down, at a strange angle, find the nearest filter, while pouting like someone deranged and find some flattering light………….Not!