I treat cleaning like a competition

Well I am feeling rather pleased with myself today, after tiding the garden.  I am no Alan Titchmarsh, believe me, I am the person who can kill a cactus. However boredom and irritation at the leafs  blowing around and the ivy making a bit to take over some of the garden meant I was a keen-ish gardener today.  So out I went in my PJ’s (yes there is a theme to what I wear most of the time at the minute) and tooled up. I mean I am scared of heights, so the tree now has a Mohawk, because I am too scared to go too high on the ladders. My hands were also in a cramp, after using the longest and heaviest shears, branch clippers (or whatever they are called) that were so obviously designed for someone with the Hulk’s strength. I am not joking, I have had the shakes for 3 hours and I definitely am not an alcoholic, contrary to popular belief.  I had no bra on as I was in the comfort of my on back garden, then I went up the ladder and realised that my boobs were swaying in the breeze rather publically. I will continue to be the talk of the neighbourhood.

So I think I did well, as along with the long lists of things I hate, or are scared of I put up with the potential threat of the spiders and creepy crawlies. Avoided the wasps as best I could and even touched some leafs and grass with my own bare hands! So once I was all cleaned away I could stand back and look on proudly at the work I had done, slightly disappointed there was no round of applause, or fanfare. I am not sure if everyone is the same, but I am now continually going to the window to check that my garden still looks like something from an estate agent’s brochure.

I was the same the other day, I cleaned the bedroom and changed the sheets and duvet, put on the cushions and throw, like a real adult. Cleaned it all within an inch of its life and then continually went in to check, my now hotel like room, with satisfaction, hoping for loads of people to see the fruits of my labour. Of course that never happens, we don’t really get many visitors and the ones who do come, are definitely not invited to our bedroom, I mean how do you even approach that situation? So I am hoping that all of our neighbours are now being nosy and jealous of my handiwork.


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