I survived Pilates! (no one is more surprised than me)


Well a lot of you have been asking how my first Pilates lesson went. In fact some friends even text to ask if I was still alive, the cheeky buggers!

So it was a mixed bag of success, especially after the cycle in the drizzle to get there. I hate drizzle, it’s like the sniper of all rain. So I walked in like a homeless person, who’d just ran through a Sports Direct sale. I was obviously last, because this is me, so why would it be any different. Annoyingly I had sat in the waiting room for 5 minutes, so the last minute dash wasn’t really needed. I then realised the trainers I had decided would be ideal were not needed and took them off. I also saw everyone had brought towels. You can’t catch me out though, I had grabbed one on the way out as an afterthought, cue smug face. However when I unrolled it and threw it down on the exercise mat, under the watchful eye of everyone, I realised it was like a flannel. It was like I had thrown a stamp on an A3 envelope, awkward. Cue red face and pitiful stares.  

All in all though the Pilates went ok, apart from I’m still not sure where these muscles were the teacher was talking about and I am definitely not flexible. The chilli even behaved well, that was until I decided the free yoga was a good idea. The only muscles I found and needed then were in my arse cheeks. I did however, do better than the older lady to my left, who either had also eaten chilli, or had a squeaky mat towards the end!

Yoga is definitely not for me though. You see I am an even bigger freak than you all gave me credit for and I am hypermobile, so all of my joints go too far in the wrong direction. Meaning I got stuck several times in several positions and the teacher had to come and save me from myself, so that was embarrassing. Although there is the best part of yoga ever and I quite frankly think this should be turned into a lesson in itself. At the end of the lesson, you lie down with a lavender beanbag thing on your eyes and cover yourself over with a fleecy blanket (all new as it was the first lesson, phew!) and just relax, now that my friends is my kind of yoga.


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