Hope it is Pilates and not Fartes!

I am going to Pilates tonight, for the first time. Don’t laugh! I am worried because; A. I am not flexible B. I don’t even really know what Pilates is and C. I stupidly decided to make chilli for dinner, so I am worried I might just blow the other people away, all that bending and stretching. Can you imagine the embarrassment! How to win friends and influence (in-flatulence) people.

I am so stiff I am now panicking that I will need to adopt loads of flexible poses and won’t be able to. I went to yoga once, yes once, so you’d think I would have learnt this isn’t necessarily my thing. I was pulling nothing like the shapes of the others, never mind the teacher. I even fell asleep at the end… Wish me luck!