Should I go for it? Write a blog? How I decided

So here I am sitting thinking, “go on, just do it, just start, what have you got to lose? ”. Then a flash of realism hits me, “who am I trying to kid!”. I mean it is not as if I am Carrie bloody Bradshaw and in Sex and the City.  For a start I am never going be that skinny, cool, or be able to wear heels like she does, without falling flat on my arse and it leading to bunions  and let’s face it, if I had her dress sense I would look like I was homeless! Thankfully I remember that that isn’t even real life.

After talking to my mate, I realise that this is going be hard and I am literally probably writing this for no one , but myself and my mam… Hi mam! I mean for a start I do not have an interesting and exciting life, the most rock and roll thing I did recently was get drunk on my own in my own house on a Tuesday, which I now realise is actually rather tragic! So what do I have to say, or add to your day?!?!?

Well in all my years on this planet what I have realised is that there is one certainty, I seriously have no clue where I am going in life, or even where I want to be! It is like I am standing looking back at the years thinking what the hell have I achieved! At this moment it doesn’t feel like a lot. My life revolves around looking for work and going to the physio, as I am falling apart. I mean is this normal for a 37 year old?

So I have always been a bit of a knacker, but I decided I wanted to get fit and improve myself, (I know I sound like a new age hippy, wanker), but the only hippy thing about me is literally my hips, which seem to expand as soon as I look at a packet of crisps. Basically I realised I was getting older and had never been fit. So I went in search of a sport that wouldn’t give me flashbacks to PE at school, upside down beams to walk over and being told I should be good at any sport which had the name “jump” in it, due to me being freakishly tall and having long legs. Believe me with no will, co-ordination and definitely not one sporty bone in my body means this was never going to happen. I mean to be honest I spent most of PE, being kind (not wanting to do it, but smiling sweetly)  and letting other people go before me, or hitting my tennis ball over the fence, so I could wander off to retrieve it like some good old Labrador. So anyway, I decided to start running in a bid to get fit, after realising no one in the gym was sociable, as they were too busy looking at their reflections in the mirrors (I mean who’s smart idea was that?) and that I was running out of activities to try. Also when you pass 25 there is no way to lose weight and in fact you start getting bits added on to your body, with no explanation as to why, I mean what is that fleshy lifebelt really for?

No one laughed as much as me at the thought of me trying to run, but anyway to cut a long story short, shock, horror! I like running and although I have a questionable technique and definitely never found the graceful gene, I am ok at it too. In my quest to get fit I then find out I am truly unfit and now seem to have a season ticket to the physio. I have realised in horror that I am no longer 20 and in fact I never will be again, someone make it stop!!! I keep  thinking, if only….(insert endless questions here) … Such a scary and pointless thought, I guess. So what I am going to do is do something for me, to vent and share as much of my pre mid-life crisis in a bid to be show others, you aren’t alone and we can all bumble along this uncertain path together.