DIY disaster and almost death

Dear Karcher,

Can you imagine the excitement, the thrill of looking forward to opening your pressure washer and cleaning your drive. I know I am so rock and roll I scare myself with my thrilling life. But the sad fact is that I love a bit of a clean and could not wait to see the progress of the cobbles in front of me. Seeing the line between the dirty and the clean, having the cleanest drive in the street! However this was job I was looking forward to alone, solo, absolutely with no one else helping and yet the fella had other ideas!!! I can’t begin to describe my disappointment, but I mean how bad could it be?

I will tell you shall I? Your K3 power washer is great, I have no complaints, apart from maybe the colour could be a bit more glittery and pink, however I think it should come with a disclaimer/warning.

Never before have I thought about murder with a power washer, but today after hearing “you need to be further away, now you’re too far away”, “wash it away from you at an angle, no not that angle you’re splashing the brickwork” and “You need to watch where you’re going, no not there, there!” I have to say I began to wonder just how powerful your power washer was. Like, if I was to find a nice piece of earth and then focus the jet water spray on it, could I effectively dig out a ­man/human sized hole? Is your extendable cord long enough to stop a grown man speaking?!

Don’t be alarmed peeps, I haven’t actually killed the fella, just threatened him with death, given many death stares, shouted (under my breath) that I hated him in the street and downed tools to come inside. So I am thinking that the warning should be that this product is a danger to relationships, as well as the health of some OCD fellas, who think they can use it so much better than their highly capable better half’s !!

P.S  I am guessing it is strong enough to get rid of blood stains though, right? (the job isn’t finished yet)